Bitcoin is the only thing in our universe that is finite, of which we know how much there is, is easily auditable, can be easily shipped, small pieces can be shipped, cannot be manipulated, inflation is forever fixed and predictable, cannot be censored, and is publicly viewable where everything is located.
If I have forgotten anything please correct me in the comments.
It could be that I already have a few "Jägermeister" behind me.
Be lenient with me.
(Marking as nsfw because alcohol)