Hi everyone,

Call me Rekt. (throwaway account to avoid embarrassment) I've been part of Bitcoin since before it hit $100. After it hit $100 I thought I had missed the train. I was obsessed with Bitcoin and I worked a full time job for years and pinched pennies where I could, to put every dollar into BTC. Bitcoin became my life and I became known at the Bitcoin guy as I'm sure most of you have earned that nickname as well. From the time we slayed the bear whale, to UASF, gox, cryptsy, mintpal, etc…

I've lived and promoted Bitcoin full time for.. almost a decade now? During this whole time I would trade spot and own a few alts. Long story short, I was an ok trader and made enough to live on for this whole time. I was able to accumulate 30 Bitcoins. If I could rewind and donate 29 and keep just one I would.

Sometime around 2018 range I invested a bit heavier into an alt coin. The drawdown cost me a significant amount of my coins – 20 or so. 10 left. Then when spot trading wasn't making enough for me to live off of I began margin trading…. You know how that story goes.

My last ditch effort to get a few of my coins back was to sell my BTC, live on the $ and then snap them back up when the price falls. I sold my last 2 remaining coins in 2020 for around $6000 each and instead of dropping and giving me a chance, as everyone knows, we ran to 42k. I didn't have any.
I began trying to find a dayjob which is extremely painful. Attempting to rely on the old skills I had before I began living the Bitcoin life. The huge gap in my resume has made me all but unhirable… I am honestly brokenly depressed as a person, so I imagine I probably come off as uninterested or otherwise. My old work buddies and friends are all congratulating me on 40k BTC. Having to express fake joy at the same time of my stomach falling out is so painful.

In 2017 at the age of 27 I had nearly $1000000, and now Im sitting here in tears praying that I get the stupid government stipend before I run out of groceries.

My biggest regret in life aside from trading, was not selling any and building the small business I have planned. At the time of having all the wealth I could have wanted, I had no ideas for starting my own business. Now that I am fully capable of starting a business I would love to manage every day and have a plan.. I don't have the capital to get started. It's a terrible but marvelous world.

I don't have any family or friends that are able to help me through this. My parents thought my wealth was imaginary and my friends have no empathy for me because they were jealous in the first place when I had BTC.

I am really doing some soul searching. I don't know whats going to happen in my life over the next couple weeks or months. I'm not going to do anything final because I have pets I very much care for and could not ever let them down.

I guess I am writing here to just get it out. I fully expect a rash of awful comments and I truly deserve them all.

Bitcoin was truly the best times of my life. Sending love to everyone who shared these moments with me along the way. <3